been such a long time since we all went to chill out at keejia's. did stupid retarded sisterly stuff like baked rice tarots pics and even watch A CINDERELLA STORY. which keejia and i kind of hated haha. I MEAN there are no such things as fairytale endings in reality. PFFT.
okay this picture of the 3 of us is kinda nice just that i looked really stupid cause we were trying out the 3sec timer and i was kinda late haha. ohwells.
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so then we had a class thing yesterday, after i went for driving lesson at bbdc. I DROVE out to like westmall area! awesome right! met bryan and kumar and went to the civic club place for pool. later, jingyi shao and nick came. and we finally went for dinner. then watched THE TOURIST with shao and nicktan. the movie was blah.
once again i put my cam-timer skills to great use! omg i think my blog posts are getting BLAH. its like i have nothing much to write and im slowly reverting back to my old blogposts style. this is bad!
i shall talk about random stuff then. i think i might become/be a cougar omg! its not like i want to but idk maybe i might really turn into one. it sucks to be this age, 18-19. you seem so old when you compare yourself to the people who are schooling. like i cant even look at guys on the road now because 80% of the time they are in their uniform and they are YOUNGER than me. -.- so if you want older guys, they have to be like 20yrs old? and that sounds really really old omg. so it wun be my fault if i do turn into a cougar.aish i so wish im fourteen again. :(
and then. i kinda found out that my friends are all going out on dates this friday. why is it that everyone has a date on friday except me. everyone got lucky except me! sian. is it because of my face? my personality? my wad? lol. its damn pathetic. i thought i was only ugly but i didnt know that now im not only ugly but scary too. like do i look gruesome? today when i was crossing the road, this little boy was looking at my direction and started to hide behind his maid, while sneaking peeks at my direction and even ran to hide behind the traffic light post. wth. now i look so gruesome im scaring little kids too? wow. okay life sucks i just have to deal with it. and i totally should stop drinking. i shldnt have vodka in my house because i'll drink it every night or whenever i feel a little bit upset. like last night, and also the night before that. what is wrong with me omg. another thing. my parents refuse to let me go back to church. and also, im a really slow learner. like people clear 2 subjects per driving lesson, on the average. but i only clear 1 subject. this really sucks. and because i kept going out everyday, im becoming broke. and my parents refuse to give me travel fare cause they insist its my fault for going out everyday and travelling to far places. and im not gona have an income till like 2 wks later? and i think something is wrong with my moods. maybe its post-ms. or not. or maybe its cause i tend to revert back to my happy mood like 1 sec after i get angry or upset, hence all the anger and sadness and negative emotions are built up within me so nowadays when i get angry or down i cant seem to revert back to being happy immediately, i end up getting super frustrated and depressed. damn it. and another thing is that i feel so fat. im like 46kg AGAIN. i feel that my arms are so fat and flabby and there are tons of guys out there with skinner thighs and lower thighs than me. and then the whole im super lonely thing. that sucks the most. and yea A levels. what the hell is gona happen to me in 2 mths time? i dun wana think about it but its so hard not to think about it. actually its so hard not to think about all these things. and there are so many things im insecure/worrying/upset/frustrated about right now. a girl can only take so much.
oh yea and you know what my mum did? suddenly she starts questioning me who im going out with and where im going out to everytime im going out. and it just so happens that everytime she questions me, i was going out with a guy. so like 2 days ago she came into my room with this newspaper article about a 15yr old girl who fooled around with like alot of guys. and the article had this section where they wrote something like 'how to know if your daughter might be fooling/sleeping around with guys'
1.she is always going out with alot of different guys
2. she comes home very late at night
and my mum was like 'you fit into all the criteria'
and i was like wth -.-
and she said something like 'you better not be fooling around with guys'
WADTHEFUCK.
i am not that insensible and stupid okay mum?
cool. i haven used that word for such a long time. but i just suddenly felt like there was a need to rant and clear my cupboard and unburden my crap. so yea. sorry for all these nonsense. tada.
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