the last day of 2010 i made someone laugh

Today i never smiled. It was so hard to not smile you know? Im the kind of person who can laugh over really silly and unfunny things. But for once in my life i was a neutral expression kind of person today. I just felt so devoid of emotions or rather happiness. I had this thought the whole day in my head. That i rather see my friends smile and laugh than me. Like, i want to give up all the reasons in the world that can possibly make me smile/laugh to my friends so that they can smile/laugh instead. Okay this probably sounds stupid.

after one day of reflection, i have decided to be the sensible and mature girl and put the past behind me. I cant keep harping on those issues i have (even though i had been doing so for like 1 whole day), i mean look huiyi! There are greater problems out there in the world, eg starvation, wars what not. So many people in the world are facing so much greater shit than you are, so just suck it up, be a man, let em go and stop emoing and depressing.

Okay time to grow up little girl! After one day of needing to be left alone. IM BACK ;D

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went for DRIVING LESSON2 today! I think im getting addicted ;p met bryan at BBDC! he was there for lesson + prac. LOl

then to fj's place for KFC lunch + despicable me. Yea im binge-ing again cause i was still rather down at that point in time. Then, drank pepsi GIn. okay larh not bad. Oh i realise that i likeeeee my face after i drink! It just screams I GOT PUT BLUSHER!

after dinner daddy wanted to 'teach' me how to drive -.- Anyways i shall conclude that night driving is AWESOME! but my daddy said i was scary :( heh wonder what i did

Anyways im so excited for clubbing+sleepover @ bryan's! Im gona ONE NIGHT STAND man! Gona stand for one night at the club ;P lol i said that to bryan and he actually LAUGHED poot! Okay thats how my title came about haha super random i know.

2011 in slightly less than 24hours time. Maybe a miracle will happen when 2011 comes. Like... i'll actually become a better person. And for all those stupid issues i have to like POOF and disappear! Rawk on while you can 2010! You are gona be replaced soon.

i dun deserve happy endings

my life is and has always been full of ups and downs. i have this problem. i tend to get sick of people easily. but then i believe this condition is getting better already. but that doesnt mean i haven already hurt some people.

the second one this month. telling me something like that. i feel as though ive let them down. i feel as though i dont deserve anything, any of these, definitely not happy endings. why isit that my whole life, the only thing i can do is to let my friends down

I haven felt this sad since... idk when. but im really emotional that way. an hour ago i was still happily typing out my previous post but now im like down. i dont exactly know what i want to type here. Theres so many things in my brain that are dying to be written here. But i dont know where to start from. Idk anymore.

Just let me rant for awhile man. Knowing me, i'll probably be high and happy a few minutes later.

NOW I WALK LIKE IM PREGNANT

went for my FIRST driving lesson tday :) and i didnt kill anyone so yeap im good!

but i stalled the car like at least 5 times or something.

i must be the stupidest girl in the world man. I knew i was going for lesson today yet i still played badm yesterday so i had severe muscle aches today, thighs and arm -.- i couldnt even walk properly and could barely walk up the stairs. No i need to go drive car. wth mans.

so now i walk like a crippled uncle/pregnant woman!

it was so fun today though i was sooo scared throughout kept braking LOL. heh im going for lesson2 tml. shall try to be a chiongster ;D

ANYWAYS. CAMWHORE QUEENS DAYOUT!

met bella at taka for seoul garden treat after my driving lesson! I got a new soft toy! LOL so now i have 25 softtoys on my bed!

there are 3 things in my life now:

- i cant stop taking cab

-i keep going out alone with guys -.-

-i keep receiving softtoys HAHA

so anyways here is my new bear!

after that we went to cine for NEOPRINTS. omg i haven taken a NEO in agesssss. So huai nian!

then we stuck our neos on the board! can you see em?

then, bella brought me to outram to go to THE PINNACLE! we passed by this ulu old alley and started camwhoring LIKE MAD ;P i actually took a couple of shots smiling wif teeth, but i dun have em, all in bella's cam!

THE VIEW FROM PINNACLE IS AWESOME STUFF ;D

im so spastic! anyways we wanted to wait for sunset!

this is me looking bored while waiting...... i was so optimistic that the clouds would part and reveal the sun!

seee! you can see abit of the sun here.

BUT....NOPE. AN AWFUL MESS OF BIG GREY CLOUDS CAME BY AND BLOCKED THE WHOLE SUN JUST AS THE OTHER CLOUDS DISPERSED. WTH

why isit always the girls

tml 920am will be at BBDC driving the car HAHA.

its okay im not scared.

im not gonna get into any accident.

im strong and fearless. yea fearless.

going for seoul after that. will binge on ROUROU.

ahhh i just feel so messedup right now! why am i a girl -.-

okay wadeva. just wish me luck for tml:)

everything will be fine.

car car!

daddy just brought me down to teach me the basics of driving! i started a car for the first time in my life ;D okay im damn scared -.-

okays so im damn scared for tml.

if i die please come to my funeral okay? pretty please!

im insured by BBDC tho.

if i die my family gets 10k (WTS IS THIS WAD IM WORTH?)

permanent total disability also 10k

medical expenses 2k

maybe i'll just go get my fingers kiaped by the windows then can get 2k muahahaha

imma read the practical guidebk tonite! wish me luck :)

FINALLY PICS

i finally got back my cam ;D

so heres my GREY SEAL i caught ytd!
super cute right? i noe!

and TADA my PDL! with this, im going to drive car tml :)
anyways, on christmas day when i went to meet my babe i was practising HOW TO SMILE PROPERLY with teeth -.- i find it damn weird to so do and that my smiles all damn awkward man!

can you see! the red arrow! when i smile, my right side goes up more so i look like im twitching WTH. AWKWARD SMILE TTM

so i have to push up my left side too!

I FEEL LIKE A 2ND JUNE MAN. shit. is this the so called. like bro like bro?

i go depressed cause i didnt wana be like june :(

despite how this might look . this is not an attempt to act cute.

anways. this is like the best smile already. but it still sucks :( AISH i have so much to learn. need to practise till perfect!~ Okay i shall smile like a retard in the mirror everyday from now!

LOVES MY BABE!

(that is so random)

at least i dont smoke or cut myself

ehh i think my title is so random man. must be due to the convo i had with my babe over lunch just now. anyways i went to BBDC today to have my BTT ;D

i reached like 45mins before the test time hahas. took my uncle's car cause my cousin was getting her license today :)

so anyway,

I PASSED MY BTT ;DDDDDDD

I GOT FULL MARKS HAHAHAHAH

lol and i even helped the guy sitting beside me. -.-

after finally waiting for ages to get my PDL, went to sports comp to meet the gang for badminton ;P i wasnt expecting to play but then the moment i saw them playing, i just had to join in LOL. which was quite stupid since i had on liner and mascara and i turned into a partial panda zzzzzzzz

after the game, went for lunch wif my babe at JACK'S ;D

and im like so tired now. haven exercised in ages :(

i finished the second book rom lent me! ;D its sooooooo sad! but nope never cry. But like.. i think i understand more what love is already. Despite that i still dun think i'll ever love someone. Hopefully years down the road i'll look back at this post and disagree with myself. If not my life will be quite sad!

note to self:

i really need to learn how to keep my mouth shut. Maybe i should consider becoming a dao person haha. But... i cant sit still without toking LOl.

ahhh im getting tired of all this shit man. if only i was a less emotional person. Or someone who bochups. Its really so damn tiring to keep this up! Feels like i might give up soon :(